August 3rd, 2013

(no subject)

"The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow."
                                                                                                      - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I've been feeling blue today. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed is a killer.

I find it funny that just when things start to look up, you can have a day that crumbles that hope into nothing more than an illusion. I'm sure a lot of what I'm feeling is hormonal and I'll wake up in a day or two or three and feel better. I just wish these days didn't happen. I was finally feeling like I had a grip on things. I have
braces for crying out loud! Who in the world ever thought that day would come? Certainly not me just 2 very short months ago. I'm trying to convince myself that a lack of understanding is to blame for the very few moments of enthusiasm I have about something I should be crying over. I never have to wake up, run my tongue over my teeth, and want to be somebody else when I realize they'll always feel like that. So why am I such an emotional cripple that all I do is keep a straight face and cower to showing real life human feelings? I'm not good with happiness. Or sincerity. I just had a bad day. And I kind of wish my emotions weren't so bottled all the time. Sincerity out of my mouth sounds like a lie. Why is that?

I'm keeping my head up because there is nothing down there for me to look at.